Hughes finally gets call-up

NEW YORK – Due to a pitching staff that is beyond depleted, the New York Yankees have decided to call up their number one pitching prospect – Philip Hughes – for his first major league start Thursday. The Yanks have been bringing along the 20-year-old hurler slowly since drafting him in 2004, in order to ensure he is prepared for the high expectations the organization has of him.

Hughes is rated by some scouts as the number one pitching prospect in the minor leagues, and many have questioned why the team didn’t call him up sooner. His dominance in the minors has earned him the nickname “Miracle” among his teammates.

Still, Yankee officials are experiencing a mixture of emotions in the days leading up to their prized player’s debut – hoping for the best, but not knowing exactly what to expect.

“This is a guy that really could have an impact on this team, regardless of how young he is,” Yanks GM Brian Cashman said. “You know, we need a ‘Miracle’ on this team to help us get to the playoffs and even have a shot at a World Series. Without it, I think we’ll have to score ten runs per game.”

The hype surrounding the young prospect has created a baseball urban legend – Yankees personnel have constantly hinted at his amazing talents without actually allowing him to show them off. The lack of information about Hughes has led to widespread speculation and rumors about his exploits.

By leasing a satellite from NASA, the SSNN Baseball Scouting Squad was able to track down the Yankee phenom as he prepared for his first start. From their hidden spot in the bushes, they witnessed a performance that definitely qualifies as extraordinary.

Hughes’ fastball was devastating at over 113 mph, and he appears to be able to throw it with either arm; his curveball crosses the front of the plate at eye level and often bounces on the back corner; his changeup literally comes to a stop as it crosses home. Perhaps most amazing, Hughes’ touch turned a bottle of Sierra Springs water into a 36-ounce Gatorade.

While his Christ-like liquid conversion ability will likely pay few dividends in his Major League debut, the hopes of a nation of Yankee faithful likely rest in the balance. For his part, Hughes seems humble and grounded.

“Of course nothing is assured when you join the big club, and my minor league stats don’t mean anything up here in the show,” Hughes told SSNN’s scouts when he found them stalking him. “Nevertheless, I have trouble imagining how I could be anything but spectacular. I mean, I’m the [flippin'] Yankees’ top prospect.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!