EXPOSÉ: LeBron paying way for Cavs

CLEVELAND, OH — SSNN investigators have discovered that LeBron James has been buying fourteen tickets for every single Cleveland Cavaliers game for the past four years.

With NBA ticket prices rising so drastically over the last several years, the average American would never consider purchasing even one season ticket for a friend. But on an NBA salary, the cost is far from prohibitive.

“I’ve been buying my teammates tickets to our games for four seasons now – I really don’t mind,” the 2004 NBA Rookie of the Year said. “It’s nice to have four players on the court with me during games and then we can even substitute so everyone has a chance to get closer to the action. It doesn’t bother me at all to give those guys an up-close look at what I do.”

James has been a force since entering the NBA, so the rest of the Cavs are more than happy to have the chance to watch a player of his caliber.

“Man, I wish ya’ll knew how tight it is to be out there with ‘Bron,” teammate Drew Gooden told SSNN. “Me and the other fellas get to stand around and watch him on the court; we got the best seats in the place no matter where we go. DAMN I love my job.”

James has taken to telling Gooden and the others where to be on the court so they don’t get in his way during the action, and with the Cavs poised to finish as high as second in the Eastern Conference, the arrangement seems to be working.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!