Bears make draft day trade

CHICAGO, IL — Late Saturday, the Chicago Bears traded their third, fourth, and fifth-round picks in the 2007 NFL Draft to the Philadelphia Eagles in exchange for the rights to Donovan McNabb’s mother, Wilma.

The move comes as a shock to many because of the number of draft choices the Bears gave up despite getting no actual players in return. Bears GM Jerry Angelo believes the move needed to be made and is more than pleased to welcome Mrs. McNabb to the team.

“We took a look at the needs of this franchise, and decided this was a move we had to make,” Angelo said. “If she can keep our guys going with Campbell’s Chunky Soup like she did with the Eagles, we feel like we got the better end of the deal. You can’t put a price on a mother’s nurturing, and I know our guys are thrilled with the idea of her presence in the locker room every day.”

Donovan was initially shocked by the trade, but later seemed surprisingly upbeat. “I love my Ma, but lately she’s been switching soups on us,” the five-time Pro Bowler said. “I don’t know how many times I told her I hate beef stew – I’m a chicken noodle guy, but she wouldn’t listen. It’s like now that she’s big in commercials, she thinks she knows what soup is best for me. I think it was time we parted ways.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!