Another strange injury for Sosa

ARLINGTON, TX — It’s not uncommon for questions to arise when an athlete sustains an injury away from the field of play.

Sammy Sosa should know this as well as anyone after being sidelined by a sneeze in 2004, but the Rangers’ slugger’s most recent trip to the DL suggests he has not learned his lesson. According to Sosa, he sustained the injury at approximately 3 A.M., outside of Peep ‘N Tom’s Topless bar during his customary late-night stroll.

“I was just minding my own business, walking down the street when all of a sudden I saw this flash of light in the sky,” the former Cub superstar said. “When I realized it was a meteor heading straight for me, I had to dive out of the way. Somehow I ended up crashing through the front door of Peep ‘N Tom’s, rolled onto the stage, fell off of it and twisted my ankle. I’m lucky it’s not worse, really.”

Team officials were quick to point out that while some may have questioned the authenticity of Sosa’s excuse in 2004, doctors did verify that a sneeze might result in strained back muscles. Accordingly, Rangers brass have decided to take Sosa at his word and are currently in touch with NASA to ensure other players aren’t in danger from further meteor attacks.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!