Thomas planning more additions

NEW YORK, NY — In a strange move late last week, the New York Knicks signed Randolph Morris directly out of the University of Kentucky. “Man is this cool,” general manager Isiah Thomas beamed. “Does anyone have Greg Oden’s number?” According to the NBA, Morris played his last year at college as a free agent because [Ed. Note: The reason he was eligible to be signed is, frankly, a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo that looked to be straight from the desk of an attorney. We at SSNN ask you to simply accept that the Knicks did sign Mr. Morris, and furthermore that they did so within the rules of the National Basketball Association. Needless to say, most college players are not legally signable as free agents. Thank you.] “I’m pretty sure I’ve got the inside line on Kevin Durant, and we’re willing to offer Oden $200 million dollars,” Thomas continued. “Did I mention how freaking awesome this is?! And Cuban is going to be so pissed he didn’t think of this first. What a sucker.” When asked how he would make room for the new players, Thomas laughed. “I just signed a guy out of college without drafting him – do you think I going to bother with dressing just 12 players? This is a free-for-all, baby! I’m thinking we’ll dress 20 guys next week.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!