Selig to raise stakes again

TUCSON, AZ — In an effort to make spring-training baseball more interesting, commissioner Bud Selig has decided to reward teams that play well in the exhibition games. He announced Friday that the winners of the Grapefruit League and Cactus League will face off in this year’s World Series. When asked if he was worried the new plan might take away from the importance of the regular season Selig replied, “Who cares, the regular season is only for fantasy baseball players anyway. Look, we can’t have any more ties - it flies in the face of the spirit of the game. Soon, teams will treat spring training like it’s Game 7 of the World Series. Then we’ll be bigger than the NFL.” Many seem pleased by the move. Cubs fans were seen running around screaming “we found a loophole!” Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon was also excited by the news: “Let’s be real here, this makes it possible for our team to play in a World Series. Unless they move us to another division, or get really crazy and enforce a salary cap, this is the only way to level the playing field.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!