Rosenhaus organizes charity event for Briggs

CHICAGO, IL — Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs never thought he would be in this position, but after Bears management placed the franchise tag on him a couple of weeks ago, the Pro-Bowl linebacker is faced with a crushing reality.

Based on current figures, Briggs would receive only $7.2 million as the Bears’ franchise player for the 2007 season. Fans in Chicago and all over the country feel terrible for Briggs, and offended at what the Bears are trying to do the stud linebacker.

“How in the world can you expect a pro athlete to live on only $7 million? What is this, 1997?” asked Kelly Johnson, a Piggly Wiggly cashier. “It’s embarrassing, and I plan on sending Lance a donation to help him make ends meet.”

With so many fans echoing Johnson’s opinions, Briggs’ agent Drew Rosenhaus has orchestrated a fundraiser at Navy Pier from which all proceeds will go to Briggs (minus the agent’s standard 5% cut, of course).

“Lance gave his all for the city of Chicago, so we’re just hoping the fans will give back,” Rosenhaus said, holding court in front of Briggs’ dilapidated North Shore residence. “We need everyone to come together and help a young man in desperate need of financial assistance.”

Tickets for the fundraiser begin at $50 a piece. Though Briggs won’t be attending the event, fans will receive free key chains with an artist’s rendering of Rosenhaus wrestling a shark.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!