New locale excites McGahee

BALTIMORE, MD — Willis McGahee – the focal point of an off-season trade that sent him from the Buffalo Bills to the Baltimore Ravens – is excited to play the 2007 season with his new team. “I don’t usually like to burn bridges, but break out the gasoline, man,” McGahee told Baltimore media members. “Buffalo sucked ass. Maybe if they had won just one of those Super Bowls they would have some more talent. I mean, there are just NO hotties in that piece-of-[crap] city.” Despite his enthusiasm over the move, McGahee seemed indifferent to the Ravens’ playoff chances. When asked if he thought he could bring Baltimore it’s first football championship since 1970, McGahee quickly changed the subject: “Come on man, no one cares about that. I’m just looking to stay here two or three years and impregnate as many [ladies] as possible,” said McGahee, already a father of three (illegitimate children). “Sure, my degree says University of Miami, but I’m a proud graduate of Shawn Kemp U.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!