Miller credits female headgear for performance

MEMPHIS, TN — It’s hard to find any sort of positive this season for the Memphis Grizzlies. They are currently 17-51 with fourteen games left and will likely finish with the worst record in the NBA. Still, the play of forward Mike Miller has garnered attention around the league, and some feel he is a candidate for the Sixth Man of the Year Award. Averaging 18.5 points, 4 assists and 5 rebounds a game off the bench is impressive, even for a terrible team [Ed. Note: Actually, these gaudy statistics put him second on the Grizz in scoring and rebounding, as well as third in assists, and beg the question of why he hasn't been in the starting lineup all season.] SSNN caught up with the Miller and were surprised to find out the source of his spectacular season. “I started wearing this ladies-style headband this year and it’s done wonders for my game,” the former fifth overall pick said. “These things are great – I can get any color I want and really spice up my look on the court. I have a ton of them that my girlfriends and I trade back and forth.” Apparently, this particular style of headgear keeps his long hair out of his face gives him the unobstructed court view he’s been searching for since high school. It’s been so useful, he’s changed his perspective on women’s accessories: “Headbands are only the beginning for me. Wait ’till you see my new Coach man-bag. You’re just going to die.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!