Julio Franco missing

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL — The Mets announced Sunday that first baseman Julio Franco has mysteriously disappeared. No note was left, and attempts to contact Franco have been unsuccessful. “It’s heartbreaking; an awful way to start the season,” said Mets manager Willie Randolph. “We’re really gonna miss that old geezer.” Franco’s roster spot has been taken by unknown rookie Julius Franks. Randolph and others have noted that Franks has very similar skills and is a logical replacement for Franco. “He just looks really familiar,” Randolph said. “By the way, does it freak anyone else out that he looks so old for a rookie? He’s like the Greg Oden of baseball.” For his part, Franks was quick to point out his admiration of Franco. “It’s an honor to be mentioned in the same sentence as the man I consider the greatest ballplayer ever,” the rookie said. “In fact, from now on you can just call me Julio Franco; as long as everyone remembers that I’m 25 years old and a rookie. That should buy me a couple more years.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!