Barbaro’s Best now on sale

LOUISVILLE, KY — The sporting world lost one of its great competitors in January, and fans all over the world have mourned the loss of the great racehorse Barbaro as if he was their second-favorite pet.

A horse that captured the imagination of a nation when it won the 2006 Kentucky Derby by six and a half lengths, he was finally euthanized after a long battle with a leg injury he sustained during the Preakness. Now that the celebrated colt is no longer with us, many fans are acutely aware of the empty space within themselves that Barbaro once occupied.

In an attempt to ease the pain, Barbaro’s owners have decided to give the fans an opportunity to fill that void.

“We know it’s been a tough time for everyone whose life was touched by this incredible horse,” trainer Michael Matz said. “For a short time, we will be releasing Barbaro’s Best Glue, giving anyone with the means an opportunity to own their very own piece of Big B, as we called him around the stable. Even better, he’s useful. It’s a win-win.”

Following the news of its release, fans flocked to the glue’s website – imintheglue.com – and ordered their slice of Barbaro.

“I loved that damned horse,” said Tony Hodal, a teary-eyed Barbaro supporter. “He touched me in more ways than anyone could know. He was a true American hero; the kind of horse kids could look up to.”

Though the limited supply of Barbaro’s Best means the horse won’t live on forever in his new incarnation, the label of the glue assures customers that he will hold forever.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!