Dannielynn Smith’s birth father revealed

LOS ANGELES, CA — Move over potential baby-daddies; Serious Sports News Network investigators have discovered that the actual father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, Dannielynn, is none other than basketball coaching legend John Wooden. Wooden could not be reached for comment, but a source close to Smith has acknowledged that the two had a brief fling in early 2006. The source added that while Smith did not really understand the game of basketball, she and Wooden had many things in common. Perhaps most notably, Wooden is very old and Smith was known to appreciate that in a partner - her “old-guy fetish” was confirmed by the SSNN investigation, as literally hundreds of bottles labeled “Old Guy Smell” were found in her home. [Ed. Note: While our investigative team did, in fact, trespass on Anna Nicole's property, we would like to point out that they are volunteers and choose to break the law of their own accord, not on our instruction] Also discovered were a basketball autographed by the Wizard of Westwood - to “my baby’s momma, with love” - and an oxygen tank with the initials J.W. on it.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!