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Vick signs four ounce, $800 deal

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ATLANTA, GA — Late Monday night in a suburban Atlanta dwelling, Falcons quarterback Michael Vick closed a deal for four ounces of marijuana, with a player option for a fifth ounce.

“I’m excited to report that after a long evening of intense negotiations, my client has reached a deal,” said Tommie, a friend of the player’s.

The deal initially started as a basic four-ounce purchase; however, by the time it was done, as is often the case with negotiations like these, many bells and whistles have been added. Included in the deal, beyond the player option for the fifth ounce, is the rights to use the suburban home for partying, use of equipment from the supplier, and also a “friends and family” discount that will extend to Vick’s brother, Marcus.

“This is a great day for the Vick family,” Michael Vick said, early Tuesday, as he was enjoying a fourth meal at Taco Bell. “The future looks blazing.”

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Posted on January 30th, 2007

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  1. [...] Vick signs four ounce, $800 deal [...]

    Pingback by Vick caught editing 2007 out of Wikipedia entry ~ and more Satire : Campaign to Sack Michael Vick on December 7, 2007

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