Pelosi: NBA’s return to old ball “victory for Democrats, freedom”

WASHINGTON, DC — Newly minted democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi hailed the NBA’s return to its ‘old ball’ as the first of many victories for Democrats as they take control of Congress.

“Meet the old ball, different from the new ball,” Pelosi said, smiling, to an assemblage of beat reporters and sportswriters. “There is a new era in Washington, and that is an era of freedom. No longer will the will of the people be suppressed by outside forces.”

Kevin Garnett, an outspoken proponent of the new ball, hailed Pelosi’s efforts and hopes for more of the same.

“Speaker Pelosi has hit the ground running, and we hope that she continues with her efforts on behalf of the disenfranchised,” said Garnett, who makes approximately $18 million a year and only has to play for three quarters each night. “The future is looking bright for those of us who have been suffering.”

NBA Commissioner David Stern refused to comment on whether or not he’d worked directly with Pelosi on the decision to return to the old ball, but he did state that this was a “bi-partisan victory for all involved.”

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!