Nellie: trade is black and white

OAKLAND, CA — The NBA season saw its first major shakeup on Wednesday as the Indiana Pacers sent Al Harrington, Steven Jackson, Sarunas Jasikevicius and Josh Powell on a westward wagon ride in exchange for the Golden State Warriors’ Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, Ike Diogu and Keith McLeod.

Though Diogu projects as a potential impact player for the Pacers down the road, our NBA inside sources tell SSNN that this swap was really a matter of trading Harrington and Jackson for Murphy and Dunleavy. Warriors’ head coach Don Nelson seemed to confirm that sentiment.

“We really feel as though this trade immediately ups our street cred and brings us together with the community,” Nelson told reporters on Thursday. “A coach’s son? A big, corn-fed power forward? This is Oakland basketball, not Nebraska baseball.”

When pressed to further explain himself, Nelson struggled to find the appropriate words - “Listen, guys; I think you all know by now that I really like my teams to run, and that I tend to go with athletic, offensive-minded players. Baron Davis, Monta Ellis, guys like that… Nothing personal against Murphy and Dunleavy, but they were born… well… do I really have to spell it out for you?”

In an unexpected turn, a member of Stephen Jackson’s entourage (who asked to remain unidentified but assured SSNN that it was not his marijuana found in the former Pacer’s car after his handgun arrest) says Jackson was contacted by an Al Davis assistant mere hours after the trade was finalized. Apparently the Raiders are interested in using Oakland’s newest shooter as a locker room consultant.

“I think Al feels that the Raiders have a lot to learn from Steve about team chemistry, off-court conduct and just what sorts of behavior are acceptable,” the source reported. “Randy Moss carried a cop down the street on the hood of his car - from where I’m sitting, firing a gun in a strip club parking lot is pretty tame by comparison.”

As of press time, SSNN could neither confirm where Jackson’s associate was sitting, nor reach Al Davis for comment.

It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!