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Brett Favre |New Curse


Sosa: “See, that corked bat thing doesn’t look so bad now, does it?”

CHICAGO, IL—Amid revelations that he tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, Sammy Sosa took the opportunity yesterday to address different allegations, specifically those that arose after he was discovered using a corked bat during a game in 2003. “My reputation took a big hit after that corked bat incident,” Sosa told SSNN through an interpreter, as he doesn’t speak any English at all, ever. “People called me a cheater, a fraud. Even after all of my other bats were proven to be clean, I always felt that my reputation [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2009 | Leave A Comment

  

Crosby complains that Stanley Cup is too heavy

PITTSBURGH, PA -- Given that his Pittsburgh Penguins have won the NHL championship and reclaimed the Stanley Cup, one would think that Sidney Crosby would be pretty happy these days. [continue reading...]

Sidney Crosby removes wax beard

DETROIT, MI—Flushed with excitement after his team’s 2-1 victory over the Red Wings Friday night, Sidney Crosby joyously removed the small wax beard and mustache that he had been wearing [continue reading...]

Detroit to commit suicide if Red Wings don’t win Stanley Cup

DETROIT, MI—In a 10-month span that witnessed the collapse of its vaunted car industry, a continued stay as the nation’s most dangerous city, and an 0-16 Lions season, it seemed [continue reading...]

Local 12-year-olds disappointed by lack of Kobe-LeBron Final

KINGSBURY, NY—Local 12-year-olds Howard Harrison and Damien Shingwel announced today their disappointment that this year’s much-anticipated, much-hyped potential NBA Finals matchup between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Los [continue reading...]

Favre: no plans to retire from being mental pain in the ass every spring

HATTIESBURG, MS -- After a disappointing run with the New York Jets in 2008, retired quarterback Brett Favre is flirting with the Minnesota Vikings in an attempt to resurrect [continue reading...]

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