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Crowd wondering who that white dude next to Michael Jordan is

SPRINGFIELD, MA—Attendees at the 2009 Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame induction ceremony on Friday, to a person, had no idea who the white guy holding up a jersey with the name “Stockton” is. Further confusion was summarily generated by the fact that none of the Hall’s inductees seemed perturbed by the fact that a short creepy-looking pale guy was standing next to them. “Hey, who’s that white boy standing with the inductees?” asked longtime Michael Jordan teammate Scottie Pippen. “They aren’t letting fans up there, are they?” [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2009 | Leave A Comment

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“Experts” unable to clarify exactly what Vick would do with Pats

FOXBORO, MA—As questions swirl about the future of disgraced quarterback Mike Vick, numerous so-called experts and analysts have speculated that Vick will sign with the Patriots, despite the team having [continue reading...]

Ozzie Guillen throws perfect temper tantrum

CHICAGO, IL—Players and clubhouse reporters could hardly have known Thursday afternoon when they filed into the White Sox locker room that they were about to witness baseball history. When [continue reading...]

Kobe Bryant using ‘Send this story to a friend’ feature to inform Shaq of Lakers off-season moves

LOS ANGELES, CA—It wasn’t so long ago that saying good-bye to a friend moving to the other side of the country meant saying good-bye forever. Thanks to the internet, however, [continue reading...]

Tim Lincecum skips post-game interviews to see “Harry Potter”

ST. LOUIS, MO—Immediately following his removal after the 2nd inning during a rather disappointing performance in last night’s All-Star Game, Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum prematurely left Busch Stadium to watch [continue reading...]

Sosa: “See, that corked bat thing doesn’t look so bad now, does it?”

CHICAGO, IL—Amid revelations that he tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, Sammy Sosa took the opportunity yesterday to address different allegations, specifically those that arose after he was discovered [continue reading...]

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